Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.
· Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
· Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
No matter how good he looks, some other woman is sick and tired of putting up with his shit.
· Women's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
· Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
· Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
· Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
· On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet. O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
· Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
· Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
· Armand's Pizza. Washington, DC
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
· Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
· The Irish Times. Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
· The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
· Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
· Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
· Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
· Revolution Books. New York, New York.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
· Men's restroom, American University. Washington, DC
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
· Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington D.C.
Express Lane: Five beers or less
· Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Phoenix, AZ.
No wonder you always go home alone.
· Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
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