| It
has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated.
We do however, realize
the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings
when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of TRY SAYING new
phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information
can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more
sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I
can work late. INSTEAD OF: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING: I'm certain
that is not feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me.
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you
should check with ... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING: Of course
I'm concerned INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING: I wasn't
involved in that project. INSTEAD OF: Its not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING: That's
interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?!?!
TRY SAYING: I'm not
sure I can implement this. INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, it won't work.
TRY SAYING: I'll try to
schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING: Are you
sure this is a problem? INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck cares?
TRY SAYING: He's not
familiar with the problem. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING: Excuse me
sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die motherfucker.
TRY SAYING: So you
weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit
overloaded at this moment. INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING: I don't
think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING: I love a
challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
TRY SAYING: You want me
to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING: I see.
INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
TRY SAYING: Yes, we
really should discuss it. INSTEAD OF: Another fucking meeting!!!!
TRY SAYING: I don't
think this will be a problem. INSTEAD OF: I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING: He's
somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.
TRY SAYING: She's an
aggressive go getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball busting bitch.
TRY SAYING: I think you
could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're
doing. |