Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside Brooklyn.

If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.

It reads: "WINDAS 98," with a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped with a Sopranos screen saver.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bedford Stuyvesant." 
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer." 
The Inbox is referred to as "The Trunk." 
Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out." 
Dial up Networking is called "The Bar." 
Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses." 
Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shutting it down. 
Hard Drive is referred to as "The BQE Rush Hour." 
Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN THE BROOKLYN EDITION:

OK...................Sure ting 
Cancel..............Fugetaboutit
Reset...............Start Ova
Yes..................Yeah
No....................Nah
Find..................Put a contract out on
Browse..............Get a looksee
Back.................U turn
Help..................(Help is not available - yous don't need no stinking help) Stop..................Knock it off
Start..................Move it!
Settings.............Here's the Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the BROOKLYN EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "R."

Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa................A word processing program
Printa...............Printer
Calculata..........Calculator
Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Yous got a problem wit dat?